Belleville and Edwardsville Divorce Law Blog

The pros and cons of bird nesting

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in family law on Tuesday, April 17, 2018.

Missouri residents may have heard of a new trend in parenting after divorce called "bird nesting." The arrangement allows the children to remain in the family home while the parents take turns living there with them. This type of child custody solution has gotten mainstream attention as the premise of the show "Splitting Up Together." It features divorced parents who have chosen to live together with their children.

One of the benefits to such an arrangement is that it doesn't involve a lot of upheaval for a child. It also allows an individual to remain in their home until it makes sense to sell or until a lease agreement expires. Those who have just ended their relationship could choose to live together for a short time as a way to split in an orderly fashion. Typically, this works best when parents can communicate effectively and appropriately with each other and their children.

Tips for handling divorces with children

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in family law on Friday, April 6, 2018.

Getting divorced is difficult for most Missouri couples as it is. When parents of young children decide to end their marriage, there are a number of additional issues that might arise. They should be careful with how they handle their divorces and their children so that their kids are more likely to emerge relatively unscathed from the process.

In order to help their children, parents should ask them if they feel like they are to blame for the divorce. Unfortunately, many children tend to place blame on themselves when their parents divorce. Parents should explain to their children that it is not their fault and that both of their parents still love them.

Federline wants more money from Britney

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in family law on Friday, March 23, 2018.

Missouri residents with an eye for celebrity gossip may be interested to know Kevin Federline is seeking a bump in child support payments from pop singer Britney Spears. Federline and Spears have two children together, and he currently receives $20,000 a month from the superstar. Sources indicate his legal team put Spears on notice of his request last month in a letter sent to her father, Jamie Spears.

At the time of their divorce, Spears was at a low point in her career and experiencing a career lull along with well-publicized mental health issues. While the singer was dealing with her personal problems, legal custody of the children was awarded to Federline and control of her finances was given to her father. According to public reports, the two have gotten along well in recent years and have fostered a co-parenting arrangement that was thought to be successful. Spears has recently experienced a career resurgence and earned $137 million during a four-year residency at a Las Vegas casino, and Federline claims to be entitled to a portion of her increased income. During a recent meeting between the two legal teams, the former backup dancer and disc jockey refused to explain why $20,000 a month is insufficient to care for the children.

Why a child's relationship with both parents is important

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Child Custody on Thursday, March 8, 2018.

When Missouri parents get a divorce, they might wonder how they can address the best interests of their children. Some parents might feel it is best if the child lives with them, but in most cases, it is helpful if each parent tries to facilitate the child's relationship with the other parent.

In some cases, this could mean taking extra steps to maintain a relationship when the other parent has done something to make that relationship more difficult. For example, one custodial parent moved 80 miles away from the noncustodial parent. While the custodial parent had good reasons for doing so, this made it much harder for the child to maintain a relationship with the noncustodial parent. At one point, the custodial parent did not have a car to drive the child to visitation. Fortunately, the noncustodial parent had the resources to make the extra effort to keep seeing the child. The custodial parent eventually moved back to be closer to the noncustodial parent even though this mean leaving behind a home and having to pay rent on an expensive apartment.

How couples communicate could be a predictor for divorce

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in family law on Wednesday, January 24, 2018.

Many Missouri married couples may be interested to learn that the way that couples communicate could be a major predictor for divorce. One expert, for example, was able to identify four negative communication patterns that indicated that couples could soon be headed for divorce. They included contempt, criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling.

Of those, contempt appeared to be the most destructive due to the fact that it indicates that one or both spouses do not respect each other. Treating each other with contempt often includes destructive behaviors such as name-calling, hostile humor, eye-rolling and sneering. If there is no respect in the marriage, the bonds that hold the two people together could erode and cause problems during the actual divorce itself.

Good reasons to sell the marital home

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Property Division on Thursday, January 18, 2018.

One of the most important decisions an Illinois couple that is going through a divorce is whether or not to keep the marital home. While it may be tempting for them to keep it, there may be many reasons not to. In many cases, this asset is tied to guilt, disappointment and anxiety. People may feel guilty about selling the home a child grew up in or upset about having to move regardless of the reason why.

In some cases, keeping the home may not be the smart financial option. An individual who has just gotten a divorce may be solely responsible for paying a mortgage, property taxes and the cost of maintaining the house. This could result in a situation where a person is considered to be house poor. In other words, a person has a home but not enough money to maintain a decent standard of living.

Some first responders blame victims of domestic violence

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Domestic Violence on Tuesday, January 16, 2018.

Many victims of domestic violence in Illinois may not know what to do when physical abuse becomes an emergency except to dial 911 and hope that first responders will be able to help keep them safe. Family law can provide a temporary restraining order or permanent protective order, but not everyone in a dispute over legal issues will abide by them, meaning that police and paramedics may be needed. The attitudes of first responders may disappoint or even horrify those making emergency calls after a custody dispute or other family issues go south.

A recent survey of emergency medical professionals by a team of mental health and social work specialists points to a crisis in "victim blaming" that may undermine the confidence of those who would call upon first responders during an incident of domestic violence. They found that fully a third of emergency medical personnel consider domestic violence to be a normal reaction to everyday frustration and stress, indicating that they might see a request for emergency assistance in such a scenario as excessive.

Men are victims of domestic abuse too

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Domestic Violence on Friday, January 12, 2018.

Illinois men and women can be victims of domestic violence, which is a form of abuse that occurs between spouses or others who are related to each other. Men have the same rights under the law as women do if they are victims of such actions. In addition to hitting or other acts of physical violence, domestic abuse can be inflicted verbally, sexually or psychologically.

While extreme events such as violence with foreign objects or murder may get attention from the media, any abuse can be harmful. In some cases, relatively minor transgressions such as verbal insults or jealousy can foreshadow these significant outcomes. Men who are the victim of domestic abuse are urged to remain calm and call police. If a person is taken into custody, it is usually the primary assailant, and this person may or may not be the one who initiated the abusive behavior.

New laws are changing child custody determinations

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Child Custody on Thursday, January 11, 2018.

Child custody laws have changed in Illinois and many other states in recent years. It was once common for one parent, often the mother, to be awarded primary custody and for the other parent to be awarded visitation on alternating weekends and holidays. Many states have enacted new laws that favor joint custody.

The sweeping changes have been enacted in response to lobbying by father's rights organizations that promote gender equality and equal parenting time. Courts have previously recognized the "tender years doctrine" that presumed that women were superior natural caregivers when awarding primary custody to mothers.

Ex-wife of Mel Gibson being sued by accounting firm

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Child Support on Saturday, January 6, 2018.

Illinois celebrity watchers might be interested in the latest legal battle for Mel Gibson's former partner, Oksana Grigorieva. The 47-year-old singer and mother of two is being sued by a forensic accounting firm that alleges that it helped her secure a child support increase from Gibson for their daughter, Lucia.

Grigorieva filed for bankruptcy in 2015, and later hired the firm White, Zuckerman, Warsavsky, Luna and Hunt to investigate Gibson's finances for her case to get an increase in child support payments from the actor and director. The accounting firm is now suing Grigorieva for $108,000 in unpaid fees.