Communication tips for divorced parents who cannot get along

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Child Custody on Monday, August 5, 2013.

It is hard to not continue to hold a grudge after a divorce in Illinois. Maybe there were hurtful things said during the divorce? Or maybe there was a bitter child custody dispute where each parent wanted sole custody, but now each are sharing responsibilities with joint custody and co-parenting? Whatever the case may be, having to continue to communicate in a civil manner can be downright impossible for some divorced parents.

This is where parents need to make decisions on how to communicate with each other in a way that keeps the best interests of the children at the forefront. This means finding a way to communicate on important things like visitation and school, without having to scream in front of the kids.

For parents who simply cannot effectively communicate, and basically do nothing but argue when together, having a no contact rule — at least in the beginning — may be best. This means parents can either go the route of emails and text messages for need-to-know information, or can communicate through their attorneys.

If this seems too extreme — or just not the route parents want to take — this is where each parent needs to either just accept the situation or change the situation. By accepting the situation, this means ignoring side remarks and sarcastic behaviors that will one day hopefully go away.

Changing the situation would mean no longer being rude and making those snide remarks, but rather treating an ex-spouse the same way one treats a checkout girl at the grocery store or a complete stranger at the coffee shop.

While it may feel strange at first, most divorced parents find that over time it does get easier. This means less stress not only for the parents, but also for the children, which means everyone wins.

Source: The Huffington Post, “3 Ways to Communicate Better With Your Ex,” Honoree Corder, Aug. 2, 2013

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