Staying together for the kids could do them more harm than good

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in Child Custody on Monday, March 3, 2014.

When it comes to determining child custody arrangements in the event of a divorce in Illinois, there are many considerations to be made. One refrain that is often heard is that the best interests of the children ought to be at the forefront of discussions regarding custody. This often means, for example, taking into account where each parent lives and their availability vis-a-vis work schedules and other obligations, so that kids suffer the least amount of disruption in their lives and still see each parent as much as possible.

Many parents whose relationship is in extreme turmoil might think that they’re doing their kids a favor by staying together and avoiding a divorce entirely. However, that might not be the case. Sometimes, staying together for the sake of the children can have the opposite effect — something that is not in their best interests at all.

One thing to consider is that parents are kids’ biggest role models. This means that children will often have the dynamics of an unhappy marriage imprinted on them, making their own happiness as adults affected by what they’re going through now.

Another factor to take into account is the stress that parents undergo while attempting to present a happy facade. If the goal is to wait until children are older to divorce, that can add physical and mental strain to parents — and might still be devastating to children when the divorce finally takes place.

Deciding to divorce is never easy; it may take much planning to ensure that the situation plays out as well as it can. An experienced family law attorney can consult with people who are considering divorce to help them sketch out a plan.

Source: The Huffington Post, “3 Ways Your Unhappy Marriage May Be Hurting Your Kids,” Nancy Pina, March 1, 2014

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