No one enters a marriage expecting it to end in divorce, but sometimes the signs are there, and it may be time to call it quits. People can tend to initially deny and try to avoid coming face to face with the inevitable. However, things may get worse at some point, and they need to decide if they can work through their differences or if it is time to move on. If you are questioning whether you should stay or go, understanding the signs can make the decision less stressful.
Sign 1: You Can’t Communicate
Communication is key in any form of relationship but is especially vital in marriage. If you can’t communicate with your spouse and find ways to compromise and come to an agreement, the marriage may not be worth saving. If communication has broken down, you can no longer resolve conflicts, and it’s impacting your day-to-day life, it may be time to consider divorce.
A lack of communication may indicate it’s time for a divorce if:
- You no longer talk about your day with each other.
- All you do is argue and can’t find common ground.
- You go to bed angry more nights than not.
- You don’t feel like your partner understands where you’re coming from.
These are just a few examples, but if a lack of communication is negatively impacting your relationship and you can’t seem to find a way to work around it, you should strongly consider leaving the marriage.
Sign 2: You Aren’t Happy Anymore
When you first started dating and got married, you were likely very happy. But over time, both circumstances and people change. If you find that you’re no longer happy in the marriage and it’s not just a phase, it may be time to end things.
While it’s normal for the spark to fade or for couples to have disagreements, being genuinely unhappy most of the time is not a good sign. While it’s possible to get back the happiness you once had in your marriage, it takes significant time and effort, which you or your partner may be unwilling or unable to provide.
Sign 3: You Don’t Trust Each Other
If you don’t trust your spouse, staying in the marriage can be very difficult. Trust is essential for a healthy relationship, and if you feel like you can’t trust your partner, it may be time to move on.
There are many reasons why someone may lose trust in the marriage, but some of the most common reasons include:
- Poor financial decisions (i.e., gambling, hiding money, spending frivolously or in excess)
- Drug or alcohol abuse
- Abuse or aggression towards you or others
If any of these scenarios are happening in your marriage, you may not be able to trust your spouse.
Sign 4: You Don’t Spend Time Together Anymore
When you first got married, you probably spent a lot of time together. But over time, work, kids, and other obligations can get in the way, and you may find that you’re not spending as much time together as you used to.
This is a subtle sign that your marriage may be in trouble. If you’re not spending time together and have no plans to do so, this may be a sign that the relationship is fading. Spending time together doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go on trips or have date nights, but it does mean making time for each other on a regular basis.
If you don’t have time together and don’t make this a priority, it may be time to move on.
Sign 5: You’re Keeping Secrets From Each Other
In a healthy and functioning marriage, couples share with each other and won’t keep secrets. If you are keeping secrets from your spouse, it may be a sign that the relationship is not as healthy as it should be.
Not all unspoken facts or feelings constitute a secret; not wanting to watch a certain movie because you know your partner will hate it, for example, is not harmful. Keeping something hidden that, if found out, would hurt your partner is what constitutes a destructive secret in a marriage.
A few examples of harmful secrets include:
- An affair
- A drinking or drug problem
- Financial problems
If you’re keeping secrets from your spouse, it may be time to consider whether you want to stay in the marriage.
Sign 6: You No Longer Experience Intimacy
If you’re no longer attracted to your spouse, or you don’t enjoy being intimate with them, it could be a sign that your marriage is suffering. Many people believe that having a mutually fulfilling sex life is essential to keeping maintaining their bond. If you are no longer experiencing meaningful intimacy, it may be a sign of other underlying issues.
However, it is important to note that every individual has different expectations and values concerning intimacy and sex. While one couple might have sex multiple times per week, another couple might only have it once or twice a month and be perfectly happy. It’s important to communicate this to your partner to see if you can find an amicable solution that works for both of you or if it’s a sign that one or both of you are no longer happy in the relationship.
Sign 7: You Fight All the Time
All couples fight, but if you find that you’re fighting all the time, it may be a sign that something deeper is wrong. If you find that you’re constantly arguing about the same things or you can’t seem to get on the same page, it may be time to consider whether you want to stay in the marriage.
While it’s normal for couples to argue from time to time, it’s important to make sure that you’re able to resolve the arguments in a healthy way. If you find that you’re constantly fighting and can’t seem to get past it, it may be a sign that you don’t have the same goals or values and that you may be better off ending the marriage.
Next Steps to Divorce
If you’re experiencing any of these signs in your marriage, it may be time to consider the future of your relationship. While you may be able to save it with some hard work, if you find that these signs are continuing, it may be best to end the marriage. For more information on divorce, please contact your local Metro East family law and divorce attorneys at Stange Law.