Divorce is an emotionally charged process. Mediation can often bring up difficult feelings for all parties involved. It is critical to recognize and address these emotional roadblocks to have a successful mediation process.

Recognizing Emotional Roadblocks

  • Anger and Resentment: It is common to feel anger and resentment towards your soon-to-be ex-spouse during a divorce. These emotions can be powerful if the divorce results from infidelity, financial disagreements, or other issues.
  • Grief and Loss: Divorce represents the loss of a relationship. It is normal to grieve that loss. Even if you initiated the divorce, it is crucial to allow yourself time to mourn the end of the relationship.
  • Fear and Anxiety: Divorce can bring up a lot of uncertainty about the future, particularly regarding finances, living arrangements, and co-parenting. It is normal to feel anxious or afraid about these changes.

Strategies for Overcoming Emotional Roadblocks

  • Practice Self-Care: It is helpful to take care of yourself emotionally during a divorce. This might include seeking support from friends or family, seeing a therapist or counselor, or engaging in stress-relieving activities like exercise or meditation.
  • Focus on the Future: It is important to acknowledge and process your feelings of grief or loss. Nevertheless, it is also helpful to focus on the future. Ask yourself what you want your life to look like post-divorce and what steps you can take to get there.
  • Stay Focused on Your Goals: During mediation, it is easy to get sidetracked by emotions or disagreements. It can be helpful to keep your goals in mind and remember why you chose mediation in the first place.
  • Practice Effective Communication: Effective communication is the key to successful mediation. Listen actively to your ex-spouse, speak clearly and respectfully, and avoid blaming or making accusations.
  • Be Willing to Compromise: Divorce mediation is about finding a solution that works for both parties, which means compromise is necessary. Be open to hearing your ex-spouse’s perspective and finding common ground.
  • Seek Professional Help: If emotional roadblocks are preventing you from making progress in mediation, it may be useful to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide tools and strategies for managing difficult emotions and staying focused on your goals.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

  • Getting Stuck in Blame: It is easy to get caught up in blaming your ex-spouse for the breakdown of your marriage. It is important to acknowledge any wrongdoing. However, it is also advised to focus on finding solutions and moving forward.
  • Refusing to Compromise: Mediation is about finding a solution that works for both parties. If you are unwilling to compromise, it is unlikely that mediation will be successful.
  • Reacting Emotionally: Emotions can run high during mediation, but try to remain calm and focused. Reacting emotionally can escalate conflicts and make it harder to find solutions.
  • Losing Sight of the Big Picture: Divorce can be all-consuming. However, try to remember that it is just one chapter in your life. Keeping the big picture in mind can help you focus on finding solutions and moving forward.


Q: Can divorce mediation work if there’s a lot of conflict between me and my spouse?

A: Mediation can be effective even in high-conflict situations. Choosing a skilled mediator with experience in conflict resolution can extend its effectiveness. A mediator can help both parties:

  • Communicate effectively.
  • Identify the underlying issues that are causing conflict.
  • Work towards finding acceptable solutions.

During the mediation process, the mediator can help both parties stay focused on their goals. They can help the parties avoid getting sidetracked by emotional outbursts or disagreements.

Q: What if my spouse doesn’t want to participate in mediation?

A: For mediation to be successful, both parties must be willing to participate. If your spouse is hesitant to participate, have an open and honest conversation about the benefits of mediation. Demonstrate to them why it may be a better option than going to court. If your spouse still resists mediation, you may want to seek professional help. Alternately, find legal counsel to explore other options.

Q: Is mediation cheaper than going to court for a divorce?

A: Yes, mediation is typically much less expensive than going to court. Mediation fees can vary depending on the complexity of the issues and the number of sessions required. However, it is generally much less expensive than going to court. Mediation can often be completed in fewer sessions, which means lower fees. Additionally, the fees for mediation are often split between both parties. Conversely, in a court setting, each party typically pays for their own attorney fees.

Q: Can mediation be used to resolve issues related to child custody and visitation?

A: Yes, mediation can be used to resolve issues related to child custody and visitation. During the mediation process, the mediator can work with both parties to develop a parenting plan that is most beneficial for the child. The plan may include details about custody arrangements, visitation schedules, and other issues related to parenting. Because mediation is a collaborative process, both parents can share their concerns and preferences regarding the parenting plan. This can lead to a plan that is more customized to the family’s needs than a court-imposed plan.

Q: How long does mediation usually take?

A: The length of mediation sessions and the number of sessions required can vary. It depends on the complexity of the issues and the willingness of both parties to work together. However, mediation is typically faster than going to court and can often be completed in a few months. During the first session, the mediator will gather information about the issues that must be resolved. Subsequent sessions will focus on working towards a resolution. The length of the mediation process can also depend on how quickly both parties can:

  • Communicate.
  • Exchange information.
  • Come to an agreement.

Contact Stange Law Firm in Metro East

If you are considering divorce mediation, connect with a qualified Metro East family law attorney. They can ensure that your interests and rights are represented throughout the process. They can also safeguard your rights and interests throughout the mediation process and ensure you understand all potential outcomes. With an experienced attorney by your side, you can rest assured that your interests can be upheld.