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Belleville and Edwardsville Divorce Law Blog

Study finds nagging leads to divorce

16472028_s.jpgThere are certainly plenty of reasons why a couple would file for divorce. Infidelity, financial concerns and disagreements over parenting are just some of the many reasons to divorce. And while these are all vital concerns, it turns out that one of the most common reasons for divorce is nagging.

According to a study, which recently appeared in the Wall Street Journal, nagging is not only toxic to a relationship; it is a common reason for divorce. Quite often, for the spouse doing the nagging, it can feel like their partner is not listening to them. For the spouse having to deal with the nagging, it can feel like their spouse does not respect them.

Retirement account division in Illinois divorces

4478756_s.jpgIt can be tempting for Illinois couples going through a divorce to fight over who should get the family home. A lot of times, emotions are tied up in these decisions. However, it is important to think about the future when coming to an agreement on a divorce settlement. Many times, this will mean putting more of an emphasis on the retirement account than the actual home.

The No. 1 thing to keep in mind is that a home is a liquid asset. And while the home might be worth a certain amount of money, the home also costs money to continue to keep. For someone who is single, it may just not be financially possible -- or the best financial choice -- to keep the home.

Historic spike in divorce filings after Valentine's Day

Thumbnail image for 8720879_s.jpgTwo days ago was Valentine's Day. And while most Illinois couples equate this day with love and romance, for many others it was the final straw. Historically, February -- specifically after Valentine's Day -- is when there is a spike in divorce filings.

So just what causes this spike in divorce filings? Is it the holiday itself? Does all the pressure of the perfect day lead to stress and disappointment? It turns out it is really a combination of things.

Dealing with trauma during and after divorce

6455459_s (1).jpgDivorce can be emotionally taxing on a person. In fact, divorce can trigger one -- if not all three -- types of trauma: acute, complex and post-traumatic stress disorder. In dealing with any type of trauma, the brain is hardwired to protect a person, which in many cases mean the fight or flight response will kick in. However, this type of response does not always lead to the best decisions being made, for not only the person going through the divorce, but also for their children.

The first thing to do is to recognize that not all divorces run 100 percent smoothly. From here, acknowledge that yes, there was trauma, but that this cannot rule all decisions. Rather, it is important -- especially when children are involved -- to be able to think clearly and make sound decisions.

Part 2: Is Illinois due for child support reform?

17644988_s.jpgToday's post will continue on the topic covered in our post earlier this week. We were discussing the model or system used in Illinois when calculating child support payments after parents choose to divorce or separate. Although there is some agreement among lawmakers that Illinois should change to an income shared model as opposed to its current system of "percentage of obligatory net income," lawmakers are still trying to draft legislation to present to the General Assembly.

This legislation was actually expected last spring, but what appears to be at issue are the specifics of the formula used to factor in parenting time, said a consultant with Illinois Fathers, an organization that is actively involved in fathers' rights issues and family law reform. One question or issue seems to be whether to use a net or gross income model when reviewing a parent's income. The other issue is determining just how much time a parent should spend with a child before it can be factored into the child support equation. 

Part 1: Is Illinois due for child support reform?

7715818_s.jpgAlmost two years ago, the Illinois Child Support Advisory Committee made recommendations on changing how Illinois calculates child support payments. Currently, 38 other states have already reformed the models used in the 1980s to determine child support, but Illinois is not among them. The state does not appear to be motivated to act quickly on updating its outdated child support system. Many fathers are no doubt very interested in seeing some change on the state level when it comes to child support issues.

One doctoral student at DePaul University who studies divorce and fathers' rights and wellbeing issues said more awareness is needed on the subject of child support reform. The model currently used by the state is called "percentage of obligatory net income," which requires the non-custodial parent to pay a flat percentage based on the number of children and her or his net income. This system fails to recognize the income of the custodial parent or the amount of time the non-custodial parent spends with the children.

Is divorce more likely at the 3, 7 or 12 year mark?

10162632_s.jpgNo doubt most Illinois residents have heard of the seven-year itch. The phrase itself got popular from the 1955 movie starring Marilyn Monroe. The idea is that after seven years, couples begin to lose interest in each other. In terms of marriage, this can result in divorce.

However, while the seven-year itch is one theory, over the years there have also been other phenomena mentioned, such as the four-and-seven-year itch, the twelve-year itch and the three-year itch.

Illinois rapper sued for child support; health care costs

12173490_s.jpgIllinois native and teen rapper Chief Keef is facing a lawsuit for unpaid child support. However, due to certain laws in Illinois, the case has somewhat of a twist to it.

At the time of conception, Keef was a minor at 15 years old. The mother of the child was also a minor. At this point she is in middle school. Reading this, one would think that since both were minors at the time of conception that no laws were broken. However, due to Illinois laws, there is an issue.

Pentagon reports slight decrease in military divorce rate

13335203_s (1).jpgWhen it comes to divorce among military members, women in the service have the highest rate of divorce. Even with the recent decline in military divorce, women are still outpacing their male counterparts when it comes to the likelihood of filing for divorce.

According to Pentagon statistics, the military rate decreased from 3.7 percent in 2011 to 3.5 percent in 2012. However, even though in terms of percentages there was a decrease, experts are hesitant to say this decrease is part of an overall trend.

Two unusual child support sentences recently handed down

15772652_s.jpgIn recent months there have been two cases stemming from unpaid child support that have resulted in rather unusual sentencing guidelines. For fathers living in Illinois, the outcomes of these cases only stresses the importance of having a full understanding of how child support works and making sure it is paid on time. If it is believed this is going to be a problem, this concerns need to be raised immediately.

In the most recent case, earlier this week, a father was ordered to not only not have any more children until he is caught up on his child support payments, but he also must tell a woman within three minutes of meeting her that he is a convicted felon and is behind on child support payments.

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